A letter to my three-year-old

30 April 2010

Dear Lucy Jane, 

It is hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that my baby girl is three.  In some ways it is because it has gone by so fast and I am amazed at how grown up, and smart, and beautiful you are. But it also seems like you have always been here. It is hard to remember what it was like before Max and Lucy.  I know it wasn't nearly as remarkable.

I will never forget the day that my sweet little twins were born.  It is one of those moments that is permanently etched in my memory.  It was joyous and terrifying all scrambled together in the same breath.  The first months were hard, but I loved being a mom even when it meant letting go. I love that nothing on this earth can take that away from me; you will forever be my baby and I am forever your mommy.  I never imagined I could love you this much.

You make me laugh everyday.  You are growing up into a little lady.  Just tonight you cried because you couldn't wear my wedding rings to bed.  I wanted to let you.  You love to be pretty and you bring out the beauty in everything you touch.  I love seeing the wonder and excitement in your face over the simplest of things.  

You still love music and I often think that you live in a musical.  You have a song for almost every occasion, and you will sing it as long as you don't know everyone is listening. You are talented.  I can already tell, and it is exciting to watch you learn new things.  You also love to make up songs and rhymes.  It makes my heart happy.

One of the best things about you, Lucy Jane, is how loving and affectionate you are.  You have learned that when you are sad or feeling anxious, all you need is a hug.  You ask for it, which makes me think you are mature beyond your three years.  You give the best hugs and snuggles.  Over the past year, bedtime has become one of my favorite times of the day. We lie in your bed singing songs, talking, and cuddling.  You always ask for "one last hug" at least twice.  I don't mind.  You also love to help put Scarlett to bed, singing her songs and giving her a goodnight kiss.  She loves and admires you.  You are sweet to her most of the time, and you love her too.

Lucy, you work harder than any other three-year-old that I know.  You are strong and courageous, and I admire your tenacity. Nothing will ever stand in your way.  You have proven that you can overcome anything and do anything you want to.  I know you can be anything you want to be, and I have no doubt that it will be amazing.

As I am writing this, I am feeling like it is incomplete.  I guess this is because there are not words to express to you how I really feel. How much I love and adore you.  How proud I am to be your mom.  You are more than I could have ever hoped for.  I hope you always know that.  

I love you,

Mommy 

 

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Update, Anyone?

12 March 2010

I think my uber-boring blog needs a make-over. I have plans swimming around in my head to turn it into something that is actually interesting to read, but there never seems to be enough time and/or motivation.  Stay tuned (if you can stand the boredom), and maybe you will see some changes.

For now, I figure it is time for a little update.  I will start with Lucy Jane.  I am so stinkin' proud if this kid!  She has certainly been testing the limits of my patience (and sanity) these days, but she is making huge strides in her development and contributing a pretty constant stream of happiness to our family. She is so dang funny!  She is always amazing me with her new words and phrases, and she says things in such a gown up way sometimes.  Don't get me wrong, she can throw a tantrum with the best of them, but she also has great manners (a requirement for my children), and is so incredibly eager to learn new things and experience life.  She had her speech and language evaluation for pre-school today and she was doing well up into the 4 1/2-year-old range, which made me totally proud.  Maybe in a way it was a blessing to have such a mean doctor in the NICU tell us that Lucy would never be high-functioning enough to attend school because I think about that, and I am infinitely more grateful for her talents and abilities.  I was made painfully aware of how hard things really could be, and Lucy really makes my heart happy.

Lucy is also doing great with her walker.  For the most part she loves using it and she is starting to be much faster and more independent with it.  It is harder than I thought it would be to make the transition to using it in our daily routine.  Interestingly, it is easier to use it when we are going out somewhere (as long as I am not trying to wrangle Scarlett at the same time) than it is at home.  I think it is just because the downstairs of our house doesn't have a lot of room for her to use it and it really takes a conscious effort to make her use it for such short distances when she can crawl there in a few seconds.  I am working on it though. Scarlett loves the walker too.  She is always climbing all over it and she sits on the back as if expecting Lucy to take her for a ride.  It is pretty sweet.

I am thinking that Scarlett is going to be a total tom-boy.  She is all over the place, all the time.  She climbs on anything and everything and is always exploring and having fun just doing her own thing.  She loves to go outside, and she throws a fit everytime I open a door and don't let her out, or if I make her come inside.  Both of the girls would play in the grass all day long if they could.  Scarlett is really sweet and loving though, and she gets so excited when she sees us.  She gets cuter by the second, and I love watching her learn new things and devlop her own little personality. She loves dolls and stuffed animals, and loves to put headbands and sunglasses on.  We call her a hoarder because she is always gathering random things and carrying them around the house.  I am baffled by her ability to throw an impressive tantrum already, but the word is that she likely inherited that skill from her mama.

For the most part, things have been going well around here.  I can't seem to keep my kids healthy for more than a day or two, which is getting a little frustrating, but it is my fault because I dared to say that we never get sick around here.  This all wouldn't be that big of a deal if it didn't mean fevers and possible seizures.  Lucy had a second seizure a few weeks ago, and it was scary and a little traumatic.  The scenerio was almost identical to the first one, and I was so thankful that I was in her room with her that night.  It required a call to 911, an ambulence ride, and medication to stop the seizure after an hour.  Yes, an hour...the ER doc was busy reading the manual on pediatric seizures, and no one would listen to me when I was telling them that the symptoms that she had were in fact seizure activity. Lesson learned--I will never let the paremedics leave the house without starting an I.V., and I will not let them take her anywhere besides a children's hospital.  They eventually transfered her to Phoenix Children's where the neurologist said it was a seizure, explained it could be life-threatening to let her seize for that long (sounds like something you should learn in med school), and prescribed a medication we can administer when it happens again in hopes of avoiding the 911 call all together.  

A little bit of drama, but life goes on with a few changes.  We did finally get a big bed for Lucy's room.  Steve and I had been taking turns sleeping on the floor since last September, and now sleeping on a real bed every night is heavenly.  We have also had to be more cautious.  We had to bail out of our highly-anticipated Rocky Point vacation with friends at the very last minute because Lucy got a fever, and we just couldn't risk her having a seizure in Mexico.  Of course, I would sleep on the floor for the rest of my life and never take another vacation if that meant keeping my kids safe, but it is still a bit of a bummer and something we are going to have to always be thinking about until she hopefully outgrows this.

Well, that is the not-so-short update on the little peanuts.  I know there are a few people that still read this to find out how they are doing, and I will try to be better about more regular updates.   

Peace. 

 

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Love Bugs

23 February 2010

I got really into Valentine's Day this year.  I think it is such a fun holiday to celebrate with the kids because there are so many cute crafts and decorations.  We invited some of our friends over for a little Valentine's play date, and we had a blast.  It was a little chaotic, but in a really good way.  I think all of the kids had fun, and I know us moms did.  I think I may have to make this a tradition.

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White Christmas

9 January 2010

For the past couple of years, I really have been dreaming of a white Christmas, and I was so excited to be able to take my little family home!  I love all the little traditions we still have from when I was growing up.  We love going to Brian and Michelle's house on Christmas Eve with the Stringer family and all sitting around the tree and exchanging gifts.  I loved waking up to snow outside on Christmas morning and sharing Lucy and Scarlett's excitement with my family.  I loved having our extended family all together for Christmas dinner.  There really is no place like home, and I didn't even mind the frigid temperatures.  Of course, we missed our family that wasn't there, but we are sadl used to always missing someone.

The highlight of Christmas morning for Lucy was certainly Santa's delivery of her Barney doll.  She has never been very into stuffed creatures, but she loves him!  She talks to him and feeds him and puts him to sleep.  I love spying on her to listen to the funny things she tells him.  She was initially very excited by his teeth and the fact that she can kind of put things in his mouth.  The only thing she ever specifically asked for was blue bubble gum.  If Santa was smart, he would have spent $15 on Barney and the bubble gum and called it a day.  

Scarlett was adorable to watch.  Poor thing was sick the entire time we were gone, but she was still rather delightful.  She loved pretty much everything she got, and was also a big fan of Barney.  It really was amazing to just be a part of their Christmas day.

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AZ Christmas

7 January 2010

Since we were actually able to go to CO for Christmas this year, we celebrated at home before we left too.  We woke up and acted like it was Christmas morning and opened all the nice gifts our out-of-town family sent as well as our big gift to the girls, a little retro kitchen. Lucy was way into it and we really had a good time. Thanks everyone! 

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